Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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