I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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