I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
