dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
