You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize