not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
