Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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