im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
