Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm too high and old for this...
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