My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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