I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
