You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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