Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
