the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
