So drunk its hurt
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
