Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
