I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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