holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize