I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
