are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
