my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize