Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
