I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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