It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
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5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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