Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
