We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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