Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize