love makes seman taste better
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
