Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
