how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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