Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
