I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
