My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize