So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
