He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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