Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
