Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
