Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
