dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I need help removing her.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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