Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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