Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize