Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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