M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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