All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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