Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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