Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
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I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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