Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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