apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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