i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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