I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
