sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
