Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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