were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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