Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
