So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
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I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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