we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
