We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
