We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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