I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
