Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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